I'd like to apologise in advance for this one. Not to you, the general people, but to my mum. Because, well. It's a bit gross. A bit uncouth, a bit unladylike and a bit, er, vulgar.
I kinda liked writing it though...
Today we had to write a play that no one else would understand. I'm sure this will be very much understood by all who read it, but it's dedicated to my best bud Kate who is perhaps the only one who might find it funny (largely cos it's based on a real life conversation we had the two of us one hung over morn not long after I moved to London).
I think it also carries an important Public Service Announcement of such blinding obviousness that, if you don't know it already, you will thank me for.
Ladies, this one's for you.
Hmm. My lovely Weebly website builder just crashed on me and I lost a whole lovely blog post I was two seconds away from publishing!
Alas, this is no excuse. But it's late so I'll try and scribble down as much as possibly before I fall asleep.
Today's topic was anger. (We did one on hate right back at the beginning, I think the organisers might be running out of ideas - just three to go!) In true Lila style, I veered right off topic and landed on guilt. Because, you know, guilt makes me angry. Angry at myself. Which sucks, big style. Nothing worse that knowing you f**ked up and it ain't nobodies fault but yours and you only have yourself to blame...etc, etc, etc...
So I wrote a bit of a rant.
However, luckily enough all of these angry, guilty, shameful emotions reminded me of the awesome Brene Brown and her incredibly inspiring work on the destructive nature of Shame and the beautiful power of Vulnerability.
In a (incredibly paraphrased) nutshell Brene's research goes something like:
Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad.
Guilt = something we learn and grow from, Shame = something that can destroy us
So how do we overcome shame (and guilt)?
The first step: vulnerability. Vulnerability is courage by another name. If you did (or think you did) something bad, be vulnerable and go tell somebody - a close family member, a loyal friend. And, here's the key, they won't judge you. They won't berate you. They won't shun you. (If they do any of those things they aren't worthy of your friendship). What they will do is empathise. Empathy will stop shame in its tracks.
But that's enough from me. Brene Brown blew my mind and her world-famous TED talks and books make a lot of sense to my sometimes fevered mind. So, read my play if you'd like, but definitely check out her talks - I've include the Youtube videos below.
This one nearly made my brain melt. So much so I'm going to publish the rules for this challenge in full just so you can see what I was up against this weekend!
(not helped at all my a rather full on lurgy picked up from my niece on Saturday - writing while sick is really no fun at all)
1. The play must contain 4 characters
2. Two of the characters meet for the first time in the play
3. Two of the characters kiss at some point in the play
4. The play has to have 3 scenes
5. First scene must have 17 lines of dialogue, Second scene must have 20 lines of dialogue, Third scene must have 22 lines of dialogue
6. Every line of dialogue (for all three scenes) must have one of the following: either 5 words, 12 words, 17 words, 33 words or 87 words (you can punctuate as you see fit)
7. Each line of dialogue in every scene must start with a different letter of the alphabet (reset for each new scene obviously)
8. You have 7 pauses (one of which must be a very long pause)
9. The three scenes have to be set one indoors, one outdoors and one in an abstract space
10. There has to be violence at some point
Some hand written scribblings tonight - no, I'm not being lazy (well, maybe a little bit), it was today's challenge!
By Lila Whelan
28 Plays Later – Challenge 16
Grip pinching around that knot that knot in my diaphragm that is heavy and sickly and thinking of today and all the strange weird and wonderful things that may go wrong, could do wrong, already have gone wrong. Dreams not helping torturing me taking me away upsetting people letting them down and telling them they are not worthy. Anxiety’s a bitch but today will be awesome to step in step up and be somebody else give the power give the control unto someone elses hands and bask in the care of that other’s authority. Meet new people be creative on my feet and not just in my head remember the emotions and the joy in the words I write hear them see them from the tongues and imaginations of others who know nothing of me and my directives and my missions. Sun-shining through window a good omen no rain for me today the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain but in London it rains not so half as much as Manchester why do they complain? Caught out on Friday by thick heavy drops soaking my hair and coating my toes saved by a sweet short man who looked over his shoulder at me for 2 minutes then tipped his umbrella in my direction as we stood silently at the traffic lights. Nearly pushed off my grey tips by an impatient waitress scampering Bambi like over polished floors discovered hand dryers are the best hair dryers no faff no weight great volume. Explaining not defending my position to those not in the know who look on from the outside with concerned grins on their faces they just want to know why anyone would choose this daft life but then it gets to today with that winter sun smiling and fingers crossed all will fall into place. The charity and generosity and kindness of others takes me by surprise we’d love to help of course we will what do you need let’s do it tomorrow for 6 hours and cover you in blood and grip your arms and push back on your hips and we’ll get the best shot for the shoot and and and then we’ll edit and choose all for you down from 1000 to 47 is no mean effort. Skipping through the photos I look mad and crazy and sexy and other, that’s not my face I do not look like that only in my dreams. Thank you thank you to all those others in the same boat but some in bigger boats who are kind to slow down their steam engines and let down their sails to lag for a moment or two in order to throw you a rope and let you catch up and build up speed and jog along side of them for a while. I must not squander I must not squander the opportunities laid out before me learning on the job is different to ‘not knowing what I am doing’ I absorb like a sponge be humble but be confident be open be kind be resourceful and ask for forgiveness but do not be apologetic for who you are and what you are trying to achieve. You are doing your best and, as your mother and father always said, as long as it is your best than you cannot ask for anymore. Perfection is of no interest lets keep it rough and ready round the edges because only then will it be flexible and move and twist and curl and collaborate and let others in to play as well. Better go it’s time to put on clothes and dry my hair and try not to smear mascara on my upper eyelid like I always do. It’s time to play.
It doesn't rhyme.
I kept it short.
My poet friend Jonny is probably going to laugh a lot when he reads it (he's awesome - check out his stuff here)
28 Plays Later